U. S. A., King of the Banana Republics

by Paul A. L. Hall.

Now, that's a serious thing to say. So let's back that up with some facts, shall we? It's not over till the fact Lady sings.

Let's look deeply at the basic tenet of human nature. And then the differences in various aspects of human society that have managed to come to the surface in our globe of the 21st-century -- the beginning thereof.

What is Banana Republicanism? The cliché serves us well, but we have to go beyond that. Actually , I worked in a banana plantation for a while, about half a year in Western Samoa, Tutuila island. The banana has gotten a bum rap, here. It's the only vegetable with complete protein. For almost a whole summer, in France -- outside Paris, I lived on bananas. Fortunately for me, it worked.

No, what we're looking at here is the type of republic often found in a wealthy landowner situation, typically a plantation-style monocultural cash-crop situation, where the landowners are quite wealthy and have quite a weight and influence with the leader of the country, often a type of figure who is either elected for life, a dictator with the presidential title, or who mysteriously always manages to win elections.

Now , what we're looking at here is your run-of-the-mill type of Banana Republicanism. Now, once you get into the higher types, you're looking at wealthy land-owner scenarios, only they tend more to be industrialists, getting away from cash crops and into more lucrative forms of operations. These have a way of buying off the representatives, so while there is always a rotation of persons and personages, the influence is still nonrepresentational of the actual people.

Should the people be represented? Yes, of course they should. That's really what it's all about. It's about stewardship, although people tend to roll their eyes at that term, so a better term might be "repair". However, in the two high schools I attended, and so it seems in all the others, we were taught that that was not the real goal of the founding fathers. It seems they imagined the common man to be incompetent. Those that framed the Constitution actually intended that only those that could handle responsibilities, such as landowners and business persons, etc., would have a say in governmental processes and representation thereof.

So this for-the-people stuff was all a lot of hooey, as in hooey you think you are? And it does seem to be so, that when the average guy or gal gets to the polling booth, they really don't know who they're voting for. I don't blame them for that. In the kind of rat race that contemporary America has become, no one has time to be informed of the actuality of the candidacies or candidates. They probably don't even know from candied dates. But basically, the mechanisms are in place, that if they should get disgruntled enough, they, the people, could actually fire the incumbent.

During my tenure in Washington, I was able to conduct my own private investigation -- of what? Buddy, I investigated everything I could in the three years I was there, and I found a bunch of stuff. One thing I discovered was that it wasn't the representatives that were running the joint, it was their assistants, who remained in place often 30 years or more. And it didn't even matter which party, or who, was in the office, the assistants remained, almost like part of the furniture. Oh, but it gets better.

It's the very echelons of "persuasion" -- the levels from the obvious persuasions, such as lobby-ism, down through the deep dank lower levels, that you get to the reason why the USA could be considered a banana-style republic. In other words, one that eventually will get to the point where they can't pay their debts. It's like primitive leadership contests in barbaric societies, if we may be permitted the luxury of that term barbaric. Shall we just say King-of-the-Hill scenarios.

The real pros in the game, let me tell you, have it figured out so that no matter who gets into offices or positions of authority, they will have some modus operandi to accomplish a certain acceptable degree of guaranteed arm-twisting. One doesn't need a Chubby Checker to twist again. This is becoming a science -- no, rather, it is becoming a virtual technology, complete with computerization, databases, and sciences you've never heard of before, shades of gray coming under the vague heading of "psychology". We never see true psychology in action. It has been usurped by the persuasion industry.

All hail the King of the banana republics, where the people it represents are reduced to the impulse buyers that enable it to survive recessions. Remember, Caesar, thou art but a man -- whoops! Let me rephrase that. Wow, Caesar, it looks more like you've got to remember you're but a Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein saves nine.

OK , enough of vagaries. A little humor may hit the spot, but I don't see any Dalmatian here. Doggone. It reminds me of the one about the two Dalmatians having a fight, and they were invisible until you turned on a spotlight. But they didn't have one, so they had to settle for a spat light instead. I mean, the election of 2004 was a textbook case, although it may not have been the case in actuality, a real classic: using religion to put the will of the people on the side of the leader.

My best motto has always been to stay away from headquarters, but I always manage to be ending up in one headquarters or another from time to time. The use of psychology, hypnotism, subliminal suggestion, and on and on, even so much as using technology that can cause brain degeneration at a distance (commonly practiced these days) comprise the next few layers down, still obvious enough. In my investigation back in the sixties, I found evidence of a layer of blackmail as well, typically sexual blackmail, most effective of which was homosexual blackmail. In Washington, a normal man could be made to believe he was a homosexual, it's just that easy.

The rest of the stuff I found out, I don't think I'll be discussing much of that. There's an element of futility in all of this. My advice to you, kid, is to get along in spite of the political situation. Besides, in a fluid reality such as contemporary USA is, even if the government does help you out, that could be all gone tomorrow. It's a banana republic. Get real.

I tell you what, save up that vacation money, mortgage the house, head off to the District of Columbia, and run your own little investigation for a couple of years and see what you come up with.

It's just that, the next time you wanna whip out that plastic flag, made in some outsourced cheap labor country, stick a big yellow banana on it. I mean, you the people, the common average walking around scratchin human being out there -- you're so concerned about how hip you are. Forget the underwear show, and the occasional p.c., or more bluntly put, "plumbers crack", emerging from your grungy pants hanging halfway down your hips.

Quit trying to be so cool. You're just a bunch of plastic hippies getting nowhere fast. So that dates this text, early 2005. Get a banana broach and pin it next to your American flag on your lapel and put on a suit and act the part properly.